A founder from Cluj wrote me a month ago. Wanted a second opinion on the report his agency had just sent. I opened the PDF, stopped on page two. It said: „Total ROI 4.2", „influencer amplification 340,000", „sentiment score 91", „calibrated reach". Not one number you could verify yourself by opening Ads Manager. All invented. All placed there to make you feel something is happening.
I told him straight. It's not just your agency. It's a pattern. And I'll explain it, so you don't fall for it again.
There are about 12 real metrics. That's it.
The entire ads industry runs on the same 12 standardized metrics. You know them, every platform calculates them the same way, you can open them yourself. Everything else is noise.
- CPM, cost per 1,000 impressions
- CPC, cost per click
- CTR, click share out of impressions
- CPA, cost per acquisition
- CAC, cost to acquire a new customer
- LTV, what a customer brings over the full relationship
- ROAS, revenue returned per dollar of ad spend
- POAS, profit left after all variable costs, divided by ad spend
- AOV, average order value
- Conversion rate, percent of visitors who buy
- Frequency, how many times the same person sees the ad
- Reach, unique people who saw the ad
If words outside that list show up in the report, wake up. It's not always fraud. Sometimes it's just lazy. Both cost you money.
Top 5 inventions I see every month
1. „Total ROI" or „Efficient ROI"
ROI has one formula. (Profit minus investment) divided by investment. That's all there is to it. When someone says „total ROI", they mixed reach, impressions, engagement, and maybe two real purchases into a formula they made up last week. Ask for the formula in writing. On paper. If the explanation takes five minutes and you still don't get it, the metric is made up.
2. „Influencer amplification"
They paid someone with 20,000 followers to share a post. Added 20,000 plus the 1,000 who saw the original post, called it „amplification 21,000". Reality: a share on Instagram reaches 3-8% of the sharer's audience. About 600-1,600 people. Half of them scrolled past. They're not selling you people. They're selling you numbers on paper.
3. „Sentiment score"
An algorithm counts „haha" and „❤️" in comments and spits out „85% positive". For a brand with 50 mentions a month, it's statistically useless. For one with 500, still rough. Rarely tells you anything actionable, but looks great in a PDF. That's why it goes in.
4. „Calibrated reach"
Doesn't exist. Meta gives you Reach. Google gives you Reach. That's it. „Calibrated" is a word glued on to sound fancy. Ask for the formula. You'll get 20 seconds of silence, then improvisation. There's no formula because there's no metric.
5. „Qualitative engagement"
Engagement is measurable. Likes, comments, shares, saves. Numbers. When you have 30 likes per post instead of 300, the word „qualitative" is the parachute. It means „we have little but we pretend it's worth more". It's not.
Four questions that dismantle any report
- 1„Show me this number on screen, right now, in Meta Ads Manager or Google Ads."
- 2„What's the exact formula you use here?"
- 3„Which standard metric comes closest to this?"
- 4„If you give me the raw data, can I calculate it myself and land on the same number?"
An honest report passes the test without flinching. A padded one collapses on the first question.
What a healthy report looks like
It has no words you need to translate. It has standard metrics, this week against last. Next to the numbers, two or three clear decisions: scale campaign X by 30%, kill campaign Y tomorrow, push creatives A and B into test. That's it. The rest is filler.